A Reflection on Freshman Year Abroad in Costa Rica

Caitlinepstein415/ May 18, 2018/ Latin America/ 1 comments

A Reflection on Freshman Year Abroad in Costa Rica

Now that I’ve been home from Costa Rica for over 2 weeks, I thought it best to reflect on the year I had. If you’ve been following my social media and blog for the past few months, you’ve seen a lot of smiles and snapshots of incredible experiences. My year was incredible, but not exactly idyllic. So, here’s a recap of the good and the bad of my freshman year.

You know how it goes, “I’ve got good news and bad news, what do you want first?”

I prefer bad news first to get it out of the way and end on a high note, so here goes.

The Negatives

A Lack of Independence

I went to Costa Rica an adult, but didn’t really manage to feel like an adult throughout my time there. My peers at traditional schools were living on their own in dorms, washing their own clothes, and picking out what they wanted to eat. I, on the other hand, lived with host families (plural), where they made my meals and washed my clothes. It seems perfect, as it must be wonderful to have everything done for you, right?

Well, it was nice at first, but the food and laundry also come with parental expectations from parents that aren’t your own to keep your room clean and be home at a certain time. The phrase host family is accurate, because it is exactly like having another family to deal with without the familiarity of your own mom.

My first host family was an interesting experience to say the least. The school placed me with that family because the host mom and I are both religious. This seemed like a good sign to me, and I hoped for the best. We did share the same beliefs, but with the religious aspects came a lot of expectations. Not just attending church with the family on the first weekend, but also giving money to a brand new church in a brand new country. Comments about me going out with friends on a Friday night. Admonitions about dressing up for Halloween and celebrating the “devil’s holiday.” In between all of these experiences, I really did like my host mom and my two host brothers, but all in all it was too much to handle. I had never faced such scrutiny from my own parents, and I was easily fed up with it, so I told the school that I needed to switch families.

After months of telling the school I needed to change host families, they finally came through, and I started my second semester with a new family. My new family was great. They were some of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, but I still felt trapped. They had expectations of a nice, quiet student that spent the majority of their time studying, and I felt myself striving to meet those expectations. I also really missed the ability to choose or cook my own food second semester. While my host mom was amazing, her cooking abilities left a lot to be desired. Canned meat and veggies alongside rice and beans were the norm, and I did my best to stomach what was put in front of me, but eugh.

Overall, host families don’t leave a lot of room for independence, and I am incredibly excited to live in a dorm in Spain next semester. It will be exciting to pick my own food in a dining hall or nearby restaurants, not worry about waking up a family in the wee hours of the morning, and even doing my own laundry.

The Social Scene

So it turns out attending a school with less than 30 students can be tough, especially when the majority are female and we spend sooooo many hours together each and every day.

First semester, the LIU Global Class of 2021 had 27 students. 27. I never had a class in high school with this few students, but now that was the size of my entire freshman cohort. At orientation, the administration painted images of LIU Global students becoming family through the countless hours together and shared experiences. Well, this class is far from family, unless your idea of family is highly dysfunctional.

From the first weekend there was fighting within the group over inclusion, and that petty squabbling culminated throughout the semester into screaming matches, bullying, and ostracization. I wasn’t directly involved in any of this, but everyone knows everything in what seems like a matter of seconds when your class is that small and you all coexist in a campus that is really a house.

The environment cultivated in that first semester played a role in several students deciding to leave Global. Yes, there were other factors into leaving, such as a desire for other majors or a different method of study, but the group dynamic did play a role in their departures. 9 of them.

Second semester, my class size began with 19 students. We gained a transfer student, and were able to accept her into the fold quickly. We started out friendly and inclusive, leading me to believe that we were collectively trying to move past the drama. However, this quickly was proven to not last long, and only 3 weeks into the semester found one of my friends leaving the program. Make that number 10.

From there, more drama went down, and I found myself doubting my place in the program. I loved my classes, and the experiences were unreal, but the social situation left me uncertain every day. One of my closest friends in the program is not coming back next semester, and while it makes me sad, I understand her decision. Now it’s time for me to stand by my own decision to stay and hope that things can only get better.

Now that we’ve gotten through the rough parts, let’s get to the better parts:

The Positives

Slowing Down

If you knew high school-me, then you knew a type-A personality girl that was trying to do a million different things all at the same time. She was racing from one thing to the next, and she burned herself out.

For years, I was working tirelessly to have perfect grades, be president of every club, work different jobs, and have a social life – all with the end goal of getting into a good college with a scholarship. Now that I achieved that goal, I could could slow down and actually enjoy life in the moment.

There were a lot of smiles this year through the ups and the downs. I not only slowed down to enjoy the spectacular moments, but I took the time to enjoy down time as well. Yes, I still did my work far ahead of time, but I also binge watched a lot of Netflix (Suits and Brooklyn 99 were highlights), read some great books, and traveled with friends on the weekends. I finally found free time and carried around far less stress in my shoulders, and it was awesome.

Learning, In and Out of the Classroom

This year, I discovered a lot about myself, the world, and my place in it.

In my writing classes, I read narratives about an Egyptian sex worker, a child soldier from Sierra Leone, a Haitian family destroyed by immigration to the U.S., a South African mother with a son warped by apartheid, a young boy making his way to the U.S. on the tops of deadly trains from Honduras, and a Cambodian woman that underwent sex trafficking. These stories are important, and gave me a look into worldwide issues through the eyes of real people.

Also in these classes, I discovered an interest in the practice of female genital mutilation, and how countries are addressing it. My incredible professor’s doctorate dissertation related to this topic, and she encouraged me to look into artist movements to end the practice. As a result of this newfound interest, I am looking into doing my senior internship with an artist group in London that works together to address FGM. It’s not a pretty topic, but it’s one that warrants a conversation.

In my research methods class, I conducted two weeks of research in a slum community of Nicaraguan immigrants in San Jose. I looked into the effects of the media on a community such as this one, La Carpio. I found that the media rushes in when something bad happens, and this primarily negative representation of La Carpio disheartens its residents, fosters fear of the community, and furthers xenophobia throughout the country. Through my research, I was able to work with a group that is trying to produce and circulate positive news about this community, and the project as a whole opened my eyes to the ever growing influence of the media, good and bad.

In pretty much every class, I learned about the negative impact the United States and U.S. companies have had on Central America and the world. I listened to lectures about how the U.S. government has played a large part in staging coups and overthrowing governments. I listened to student presentations of the horrible effects of the diamond industry in Africa and how companies like Nestle are enslaving children in Sierra Leone. I saw firsthand the effects of U.S. influence in Nicaragua, where the legacy of the Iran-Contra war means a government lead by a dictator parading as a President and extreme levels of poverty. I heard firsthand from Panamanians affected by the impact of the canal, the U.S. invasion, and the tax breaks given to foreign countries, most prevalently the U.S. I am incredibly thankful to get a view of the world from other perspectives, and not just the squeaky-clean American textbook viewpoint. Yes, I am still proud to be a U.S. citizen, but I am also proud to say that I am not ignorant to the impact of my country worldwide.

I learned so incredibly much this year, and I am so grateful for the experiences, my professors, and others that taught me about the world around me along the way.

So there ya have it, a year in Costa Rica. One chapter of my college career closed, and three more years to go. I hope you’ve enjoyed my posts this year, and that you’ll read about my adventures in Spain and Europe in the fall!